How to Write a Good First Message on an Online Dating App

Breaking the ice in online dating can be tough. You have a limited amount of information to work with—photos and a bio.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of copy-and-pasting a generic message to everyone you match with. But this can come across as insincere or dull. Instead, try using the information they’ve shared to start a conversation.

Be genuine

When sending a first message on an online dating app, it is important to be genuine. This will help you stand out from the competition and may even score you a date.

If you want to start a conversation with a potential date, try to find common interests or ask questions that will get them talking. Also, don’t be afraid to compliment them. Everyone likes to be flattered.

Another great way to break the ice is by making them laugh. This will not only make them smile, but it will also show that you are interested in them. If you’re not sure what to say, try a pun or a joke.

For example, you could ask them “Do you like pizza?” This will be a silly question that will make them laugh and will let them know that you’re not just a boring guy. Also, it will show that you’ve read their profile and are genuinely interested in them.

Don’t be too upfront about your physical attraction

It’s perfectly fine to mention that you find someone physically attractive, but it is important not to go overboard with this message. If you are too blunt with this statement, it can come across as insincere or sycophantic.

However, if you can slip in a compliment within a question, it can be an effective way to break the ice and initiate conversation. For example, saying “You’re a cutie,” while being slightly flirty, could garner a response.

Another great way to spark conversation is by mentioning something in their bio that is a shared interest or experience. For instance, if they listed that they love pizza, you can ask them, “Have you ever tried [local restaurant]?” This shows that you are interested in learning more about them and also reveals that you have similar interests. This will make them more likely to respond. Moreover, it’s always more fun to connect over mutual experiences! This approach can also help you stand out from other matches.

Don’t be afraid to ask a question

A lot of guys have a hard time coming up with a first message that’s both funny and interesting. While this is understandable, it’s important not to send a dry text that assumes she’s using the dating app just for hook ups and sounds like every other message she’s received from other guys.

A good first message will make it clear that you’re interested in her profile and ask one or two long-game questions about things you have in common. This can be a great way to set up a date! For example, asking about her favorite snowboarding spot or if she’s ever tried a new type of pizza can be a fun conversation starter.

Don’t be afraid to ask for a date

While asking someone out isn’t the most comfortable thing to do, it’s essential if you want to take your online dating relationship to the next level. Nothing kills attraction faster than being dull, assuming she’s just looking for hookups or sounding like every other guy who messaged her that day.

A good way to ice-break is by bringing up something that they may have said or written on their profile. For example, if they talk about having a cat, mention your shared love of furry creatures. This shows that you’ve taken the time to read their profile and have a genuine interest in them.

Moreover, mentioning your mutual affinity for cats can also work in your favor during peak times for messaging on dating apps. According to NBC News, Tinder and OkCupid activity spikes on weekday evenings around 9 pm when women are unwinding from their days at work by firing up their dating apps.

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